Why want to feel pain?
1. I like getting sympathized by others (no)
As if people would sympathized with me
2. Someone might see my misery and help me out (no)
No one wants to waste their time bothering with me haha
3. I feel joy in the pain (no)
I may be slightly demented but it's a SLIGTHLY
Pain makes me stronger =)
Saturday, November 3
Wednesday, October 31
Purple Leaf
What are you living for? Pleasure? Status? The "Greater Good"?
Pleasure and pain is all within the mind. There is a part of our brain which causes all of it by introducing certain chemicals. I will not go into detail about that. This part of our brain makes us feel pleasure when it thinks that we are doing something good and pain when it thinks we are doing something bad.
Imagine that you are doing something you like. Does it make you happy? If not then something's wrong. Let's say you like eating. Is that for drowning your greif? Or maybe it's just to make yourself happy. But sadly getting too much of this pleasure makes you unhealthy.
Nature has made us feel pleasure when we eat because eating keeps us alive. This causes people to want to continue eating. However, it has also made a limit to how much we can eat by stemming the pleasure when we eat too much and sometimes even introducing pain. Sounds like a good way to keep our lives on track? Not always.
Some people take drugs. Drugs induce pleasure by a number of methods, like introducing a lot of the pleasure-inducing chemicals to that part of our brain responsible for pain and pleasure. Some of them stem the flow of pain inducing chemicals, others force the pleasure inducing chemicals to stay. Whatever it is, they usually cause severe damage to our bodies when we take them in large amounts. And since you get addicted at your first bite, you're in serious trouble if you start.
So modern day technology has messed up this system which governs our lives. Let me give you a scenario.
In a hunter-gatherer community, life is simple. A child gets born and is protected by it's parents until it is able to fend for itself. Despite this protection, if the child is weak, it will die, eliminating the "weak" genes it has. So there is a gene selection process which gets rid of the "bad" genes by killing the child. Sounds cynical? Exactly. That's why we want to change it.
But how? People have come up with medicine, machines, etc, to make our lives better. However, this is creating some serious flaws in humans. It allows for the--- I'll cut that off here. Don't want to share too much of what has terrorized me.
Anyway, if you go by the pleasure theory, then life is going to become very plastic once you find out the about the reasons for those pleasures. After all, are we just going to live as mere puppets driven by whatever programming we have? There has to be some willpower...
Pleasure and pain is all within the mind. There is a part of our brain which causes all of it by introducing certain chemicals. I will not go into detail about that. This part of our brain makes us feel pleasure when it thinks that we are doing something good and pain when it thinks we are doing something bad.
Imagine that you are doing something you like. Does it make you happy? If not then something's wrong. Let's say you like eating. Is that for drowning your greif? Or maybe it's just to make yourself happy. But sadly getting too much of this pleasure makes you unhealthy.
Nature has made us feel pleasure when we eat because eating keeps us alive. This causes people to want to continue eating. However, it has also made a limit to how much we can eat by stemming the pleasure when we eat too much and sometimes even introducing pain. Sounds like a good way to keep our lives on track? Not always.
Some people take drugs. Drugs induce pleasure by a number of methods, like introducing a lot of the pleasure-inducing chemicals to that part of our brain responsible for pain and pleasure. Some of them stem the flow of pain inducing chemicals, others force the pleasure inducing chemicals to stay. Whatever it is, they usually cause severe damage to our bodies when we take them in large amounts. And since you get addicted at your first bite, you're in serious trouble if you start.
So modern day technology has messed up this system which governs our lives. Let me give you a scenario.
In a hunter-gatherer community, life is simple. A child gets born and is protected by it's parents until it is able to fend for itself. Despite this protection, if the child is weak, it will die, eliminating the "weak" genes it has. So there is a gene selection process which gets rid of the "bad" genes by killing the child. Sounds cynical? Exactly. That's why we want to change it.
But how? People have come up with medicine, machines, etc, to make our lives better. However, this is creating some serious flaws in humans. It allows for the--- I'll cut that off here. Don't want to share too much of what has terrorized me.
Anyway, if you go by the pleasure theory, then life is going to become very plastic once you find out the about the reasons for those pleasures. After all, are we just going to live as mere puppets driven by whatever programming we have? There has to be some willpower...
Tuesday, October 30
Mushroom Soup
11 people left. 4 Cs, 7 Ks. I remember when the strength was 21, with 6 Cs and 15 Ks. Seems that the 10 people who quit got some sense knocked into them.
Hmm... 4 Cs should be able to take up all the events since we can take two events now... two for the 500m C1 and 4 for the 500m C2.
The Ks would have to fill up the T events and the K events... 2 for the 500m K1s, 2 for the 1km K1s, 4 for the K2 500m, 4 for the K2 1km, 2 for the T1 500m, 2 for the T1 1km and 4 for the T2 500m. That requires 10 members, so we're 3 short.
Besides that, the remaining people suck. None of us can even get 2 minutes for 500m. And everyone slacks -.-". We're totally doomed next year. I try hard to beat the seniors. Sadly every K I beat didn't win a medal last year. But that's ok... I still have around 7 months to catch up...
Since I can't go down on the water much I've been doing quite a lot of long distance running. It isn't very long actually but at least it's still much much much more than that crap 2.4km we do for the fitness tests... Take note of the number of muchs.
So there... It's going to be a painful journey ahead but I've endured worse.
Hmm... 4 Cs should be able to take up all the events since we can take two events now... two for the 500m C1 and 4 for the 500m C2.
The Ks would have to fill up the T events and the K events... 2 for the 500m K1s, 2 for the 1km K1s, 4 for the K2 500m, 4 for the K2 1km, 2 for the T1 500m, 2 for the T1 1km and 4 for the T2 500m. That requires 10 members, so we're 3 short.
Besides that, the remaining people suck. None of us can even get 2 minutes for 500m. And everyone slacks -.-". We're totally doomed next year. I try hard to beat the seniors. Sadly every K I beat didn't win a medal last year. But that's ok... I still have around 7 months to catch up...
Since I can't go down on the water much I've been doing quite a lot of long distance running. It isn't very long actually but at least it's still much much much more than that crap 2.4km we do for the fitness tests... Take note of the number of muchs.
So there... It's going to be a painful journey ahead but I've endured worse.
Sunday, October 28
Plastic
Life is closing in on me. I find everything I ever wanted turning on me. As usual.
It's funny how all this is happening...
Night. Doesn't feel like it though. It's always dark down here. The glimpses of light from the surface elude me. My bones have been shattered from the falls. I don't feel like climbing back up.
I have tried... Enticed by the shimmering light which forms the lightning celing... I gripped on to the razor rocks lining the walls of my prison... My flesh ripping off my bones... I nearly reach the top... I can't take the pain much longer... Outreached hands and soft faces... I feel so much joy... The faces harden... Some turn away... Most stay... Making me relive my curse... Hands grip mine... Pulling me off the side... I stare in disbelief as they relieve me of my pain... And horror as they let go... I fall... Readying myself for the inevitable impact... Crash... Pain surges through me... Sadly I never die... Is this all my life is supposed to mean?
No. If no one wants to help I will help myself. We will find our direction in the depths. All alone. Maybe oneday I'll get stronger... strong enough to get up there by myself. But the horrors that will await me there will haunt my dreams until the end.
It's funny how all this is happening...
Night. Doesn't feel like it though. It's always dark down here. The glimpses of light from the surface elude me. My bones have been shattered from the falls. I don't feel like climbing back up.
I have tried... Enticed by the shimmering light which forms the lightning celing... I gripped on to the razor rocks lining the walls of my prison... My flesh ripping off my bones... I nearly reach the top... I can't take the pain much longer... Outreached hands and soft faces... I feel so much joy... The faces harden... Some turn away... Most stay... Making me relive my curse... Hands grip mine... Pulling me off the side... I stare in disbelief as they relieve me of my pain... And horror as they let go... I fall... Readying myself for the inevitable impact... Crash... Pain surges through me... Sadly I never die... Is this all my life is supposed to mean?
No. If no one wants to help I will help myself. We will find our direction in the depths. All alone. Maybe oneday I'll get stronger... strong enough to get up there by myself. But the horrors that will await me there will haunt my dreams until the end.
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